Siel, Author at siel ju

February 17, 2019October 5, 2023

12 best bookstores in Los Angeles for writers

Dana Johnson at The Last Bookstore in Los Angeles

What makes a bookstore great for writers? There’s the usual stuff all readers want, like nicely organized shelves, a pleasant browsing atmosphere, and if possible, a coffee shop.

But as a writer, I also want the bookstore to be the hub of a literary community. That means I favor bookstores with a knowledgeable staff that reads and recommends books, that carries books and chapbooks and zines put together by locals, that hosts regular readings that introduce me to new writers — from the very famous to the locally beloved to the unknown indie.

So — Here’s a list of my 11 favorite local bookstores. Pick one to visit next week:
____

Skylight Books, Los Feliz.

Wondering if the latest celebrated novelist is coming to town on book tour? If she is, chances are, she’ll read at Skylight. Most of Skylight’s events are free — and many feature local authors. My own book launch happened there a couple Aprils ago —

This welcoming spot hosts a book club I love and has a super-friendly staff whose recommended books are highlighted with little personal notes right on the shelves. Become a regular and sign up for the Friends with Benefits program to save money all year.

Skylight Books. 1818 N. Vermont Ave., Los Angeles.

The Last Bookstore, Downtown LA.

California’s largest used and new book and record store sells new and used books — as well as vinyl records and graphic novels — on two gigantic floors with arches and tunnels constructed from old books. This spot too hosts a lot of readings, as well as storytelling acts, zany book clubs, and other unique events. Earlier: The Last Bookstore: A Literary labyrinth in downtown LA.

The Last Bookstore. 453 S Spring St., Los Angeles.

Vroman’s Bookstore, Pasadena.

If this bookstore were closer to me, I’d hang out there all the time. Alas, it’s all the way in Pasadena — so I only make it out a few times a year. But Vroman’s is a grand center of the local literary community. The spacious bookstore spans three floors, hosts readings many days of the week, and is home to a bunch of different book clubs.

Vroman’s Bookstore, 695 E. Colorado Blvd. Pasadena.

Book Soup, West Hollywood.

This bookstore’s a popular place for local literary types, with a big magazine rack out front, floor-to-ceiling bookcases with handwritten staff recommendations, and readings scheduled most days of the week. Sign up for Book Soup’s email list to hear about future events. If you’ve got a KCRW fringe benefits card, you can get 10% off your book purchases. Earlier: Book Soup: A Literary spot on Sunset Strip.

Book Soup. 8818 Sunset Blvd. West Hollywood.

Chevalier’s Books, Larchmont.

This cozy bookstore on Larchmont is a local gem, sometimes collaborating with nearby businesses for fun events — like a reading plus whiskey tasting from Larchmont Village Wine, Spirits & Cheese. But the best known events here are part of the bookstore’s All Lit Up series hosted by local writer Rich Ferguson, when writers read, musicians play, and open mic participants perform on the fly.

Chevalier’s Books, 126 N. Larchmont Blvd., Los Angeles.

DIESEL, A Bookstore, Brentwood.

Located in the Brentwood Country Mart, this pretty bookstore hosts lots of publications parties for local authors, usually drawing a well-heeled Brentwood-y crowd. A monthly Diane Leslie’s Book Group event lets you discuss a popular new book — for $20 plus a book purchase. There’s also used to be a Diesel in Malibu, but alas, that store has closed.

DIESEL, A Bookstore, 225 26th St. Santa Monica.

Book Show, Highland Park.

If you long for an indie bookstore with that fiercely unique vibe, pop in to Book Show. The collection of new and used books are an eclectic, community-oriented mix. Many are written by local authors. Even my own chapbooks are on the shelves! The place hosts a regular lineup of events. There are readings, of course, but also open mics and other performances. Workshops range from screenplay writing and ghost hunting! Earlier: Book Show: A Carnivalesque bookstore in Highland Park.

Book Show. 5503 N. Figueroa St., Los Angeles.

Other Books, Boyle Heights

This brightly-lit and eclectically curated book, comics, and record store in Boyle Heights is a gem of a place. There’s a strong focus on here by works by marginalized voices and international and independent works. It’s a great place to discover literature in translation. The bookstore has a partnership with Seite Books and Kaya Press, and often hosts readings affiliated with those presses.

Other Books. 2006 E Cesar E Chavez Ave., Los Angeles.

Beyond Baroque, Venice.

Honestly, Beyond Baroque’s bookstore’s kind of hard to shop at, since it’s basically only open at odd hours on the weekends. However, this literary arts center is the place to go for poetry readings. There are also monthly open mics, free writing workshops (these draw a usually small and very eclectic crowd) and other community events at its little dark theater.

Beyond Baroque. 681 N. Venice Blvd., Venice.

Stories Books & Cafe, Echo Park.

Some bookstores readings feature wine, but if you like to browse through books with a beer in hand, Stories is the place to go. This nice neighborhood bookstore has an equally nice cafe with green juice from Juice Served Here, avocado toast, mattes, and beer and wine. There’s a lovely sunny patio out back where you can write and read — or take in a reading or concert or comedy show, depending on what’s on the calendar (The photo above is from a Kaya Press reading at Stories that I participated in). Plus, Stories is right next to 826 LA, so you can stop by for a drink after a Roar Shack reading.

Stories Books & Cafe, 1716 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles.

The Pop-Hop, Highland Park.

I discovered this boutique bookstore via the Sumarr Reading Series, which holds occasional events in this sunny little space. The shelves here are highly curated. You’ll find small press books, lit zines, gently read novels looking for new homes, and other knickknacks.

The Pop-Hop, 5002 York Blvd, Los Angeles

Flintridge Bookstore & Coffee House, La Cañada Flintridge.

This big, multi-story bookstore has much the same feel as Vroman’s — except it is even farther away and thus not a frequent destination for me. In fact, I’ve only been there once, when I read for a Los Angeles Review event. But the place holds a good number of community events — including monthly readings for the poetry journal Rattle — and features a great reading space for authors.

Flintridge Bookstore & Coffeehouse. 1010 Foothill Blvd., La Cañada Flintridge.
_____

Left out of this list are bookstores I’ve heard are great like Gatsby Books in Long Beach and Pages in Manhattan Beach — simply because they’re pretty far away.

I’ve also excluded bookstores with a narrow focus (e.g. children, travel) — as well as used bookstores, for the most part, though Los Angeles is home to many I love. Just in walking distance from me are Alias Books and SideShow Books, a handful of thrift shops that always seem to have hardcover copies of Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom on sale for three bucks, and a nice woman with a table piled with used books at the West LA Farmers Market on Sundays.

Are there other LA bookstores writers should know about? Let me know in the comments —

Originally published 11/21/16; last updated 8/27/19

February 17, 2019October 5, 2023

7 big annual literary events in Los Angeles to put on your calendar now

If you’re here reading this, you’re likely a writer, and if you’re a writer, you’re likely really good at spending long swaths of time alone — because that’s basically what you need to do, to write.

For those times you need a little break from the isolation, here are seven big literary fetes where you can meet other people more comfortable in solitude:

Lit Crawl LA. The North Hollywood Arts District becomes the hub of Literary LA for one night each year, when irreverent readings and other fun happenings take place everywhere from local dive bars to fancy theaters. The night’s set up so that each of the three hours of the event, a dozen or so events happen concurrently, with a few minutes in between each hour to let crawlers get to their next event. Then there’s an afterparty at the end, with drinks and nibbles and socializing. Free, except for the ticketed afterparty.

More: Lit Crawl LA: A Night of literary happenings in North Hollywood

LA Art Book Fair. If artsy books are your thing, make your way to Printed Matter’s LA Art Book Fair in the spring to see artists’ books, monographs, zines, and more from international presses and indie publishers alike. The weekend event attracts tens of thousands each year. Free.

Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. One weekend in April, USC brings together thousands of of Angelenos who come to hear Q&As with famous authors, literary panels, poetry readings, and more. Hundreds of booths will hawk everything from curious new diet cookbooks to self-published fan fiction to strange newfangled religions — as well as the more staid literary fare. Plus, there are tents for various topics, like kids, travel and cooking. I recommend taking the Expo there to avoid the crazy parking situation. Free (there’s a small fee to reserve tickets to popular events though you can take your chances in the standby line; the afterparty with famous authors costs real money).

Litfest Pasadena. This spring book festival brings together literary Pasadena, with events happening all over the cute town, from from Vroman’s Bookstore to Pasadena Playhouse. Last year’s event included a flash writing workshop and a discussion of Yelp reviews. Free.

Griffith Park Free Shakespeare Festival. Every summer, Angelenos get a chance to see two of Shakespeare’s plays performed free in Griffith Park. Go ready to picnic, snacks and pillows in tow. Sunscreen recommended. Free.

More: 5 tips for enjoying the plays.

Pasadena Festival of Women Authors. Started back in 2009 by a couple Pasadena residents, this annual event brings seven or so authors to give keynotes and breakout sessions. Past featured authors include Yaa Gyasi (Homegoing) and Pasadena’s own Victoria Patterson. Enjoy morning coffee and pastries as well as a midday lunch, plus book sales and signings throughout. Cost: $100 for the 2019 festival; tickets sell out early.

Southern California Poetry Festival. The first SoCal PoFest happened in 2016 at the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach –I enjoyed reading with the Los Angeles Review crew — and organizers have since made it an annual thing. Free.

Originally published 9/19/16, last updated 2/17/19

Event poster images courtesy of respective organizations / Griffith Park Free Shakespeare Festival photo courtesy of Grettel Cortes Photography / bottom photo by Siel Ju

January 24, 2019October 5, 2023

I’m reading at UC Riverside Writers Week Conference 2019

I’ve long dreamed of reading at the same event as Margaret Atwood and Rachel Cusk — and next month, it’s really happening!

UC Riverside’s 42nd Annual Writers Week Conference happens February 4-5 and 11-15, 2019. Margaret Atwood will be there to receive the Lifetime Achievement Award, Rachel Cusk will be there to give the keynote, and I — will be there as one of the writers.

There’ll be 23 writers in all, including Aimee Bender, Quincy Troupe, and Chris Kraus. And it’s all free, including parking! In fact Writers Week is California’s longest-running free literary event.

Hope to see you there. My reading will be Tue., Feb. 12 at 2:30 pm. All events happen on the UC Riverside campus in Screening Room 1128 of Interdisciplinary Building South — except for one off-site event in L.A. featuring Ayesha H. Attah on Feb. 16.

Thank you to Tom Lutz and UC Riverside for organizing this event.

January 22, 2019October 5, 2023

10 creative writing graduate degree programs in Los Angeles (PhD, MFA, MA)

The issue of whether or not writers should get an MFA is one fraught with controversy — and I won’t tackle that here. But if you’re interested in getting a graduate degree in creative writing — without leaving the beach, the palm trees, the great weather, and diverse population of this city — here are 10 local programs to consider.

For this list, I defined Los Angeles widely — and included programs that you could conceivably drive to while living in the city of LA proper. That said, I left out San Diego — despite the fact I actually commuted there from the westside to teach a graduate fiction class at San Diego State University one semester.

I tried to give some idea of the funding available (fully funded means the school will cover your tuition and give you a stipend — either in the form of fellowships or teaching assistantships — for the duration of your time in the program) — but I didn’t list actual tuition costs, which vary very widely. I also tried to distinguish core faculty (full time and dedicated to the program) from adjunct or visiting faculty that teach one-off courses — but in the case of the low-residency programs, pretty much all instructors are just teaching a course or two — something you may want to keep in mind as you make your choices.
____

University of California, Irvine, MFA in Writing. With alums like Michael Chabon and Aimee Bender and faculty members like Ron Carlson and Amy Gerstler, UCI’s MFA program is one of the best known and most respected writing programs in the country — and is fully funded, offering “three full years of financial support to all domestic students.”

Length: 2-3 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry

University of Southern California, PhD in Creative Writing and Literature. USC, my alma mater, offers the only PhD writing program in the area — which is actually a dual-emphasis degree in both literature and creative writing, arguably helpful in landing an academic job, if that’s the path you plan to pursue. Recent Pulitzer Prize winner Viet Thanh Nguyen teaches here, as does Aimee Bender and other literary luminaries — and a recent student, Robin Coste Lewis, won the National Book Award for her first book of poems last year. This program too is fully funded.

Length: I took 7 years (I went in without a masters), but I hear students are now pushed to finish in 5.
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry

CalArts, MFA in Creative Writing. This program especially attracts students interested in experimentation and cross-genre work. Janet Sarbanes and Matias Viegener teach here. This partially-funded program lists Margaret Wappler and Douglas Kearney among its alums.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: A “liberated, non-tracking curriculum” encourages cross-genre / hybrid work — but most students seem to define themselves as poets, fiction writers, or both.

University of California, Riverside. MFA in Creative Writing and Writing for the Performing Arts. UCR’s program is a big one, with more than 20 full-time faculty members and programs in nonfiction and screen/playwriting as well as the usual fiction and poetry — though as I write this I fear I’m opening a can of worms, since a bunch of local film schools also offer screenwriting degree programs but will not be covered here. Faculty for this partially-funded program include Laila Lalami and Susan Straight.

Length: 2-3 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry, Nonfiction, Screenwriting, Playwriting

Cal State University Long Beach, MFA in Creative Writing. Full-time faculty here include Charles Harper Webb and Suzanne Greenberg. Financial help comes only in the form of smaller scholarships and awards, but Golden state residents can take advantage of the in-state tuition rates.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry

Otis College of Art and Design, MFA in writing. This program takes both full and part time students — but only full timers can get partial academic fellowships. Faculty include Marisa Silver (adjunct) and Guy Bennett.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: Students don’t need to declare a genre, but the degree culminates in “a creative thesis in fiction, poetry, nonfiction, or literary translation.”

Antioch University Los Angeles, MFA in Creative Writing. Each semester of this low-residency program is designed as “an intensive 10-day on-campus residency, followed by a five-month online project period.” Faculty include Victoria Patterson and Francesca Lea Block.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry, Creative Nonfiction, Writing for Young People

UCR Palm Desert, MFA in Creative Writing and Writing for the Performing Arts. This low-residency program is structured as “seven quarters of online study and five 10-day residencies over a period of two years.” Faculty include David L. Ulin and Gina Frangello.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry, Nonfiction, Screenwriting

Mount St. Mary’s University Los Angeles, MFA in Creative Writing. This program’s like a semi low-residency program, “meeting every other weekend, six times per semester” — and is designed to be “ideal for working adults.” Another unique feature is the inclusion of bilingual Spanish/English courses! Some small scholarships are available to students; core faculty include Lisa Fetchko and JoAnna Novak.

Length: 2 years
Concentrations: The program is described as developing “writers in multiple genres,” but the thesis must be Fiction, Poetry, Creative Nonfiction, Play, Screenplay or Teleplay

Cal State Northridge, MA in English — Creative Writing option. Dorothy Barresi and Kate Haake are among the faculty in this partially-funded program. California residents can take advantage of the in-state tuition rates.

Length: 2-3 years
Concentrations: Fiction, Poetry, Creative Nonfiction, Playwriting

____

For those wondering why Cal State Los Angeles‘ MA in English is no longer on the list: You can still get an MA at CSULA, but the creative writing concentration is no longer offered — even if the un-updated website still says it is — due to lack of faculty to teach the courses.

Did you go through any of the above programs? Let me know in the comments if there are details I should add — or opinions you’d like to share.

Also read: 5 best writing workshops and classes in Los Angeles

Originally posted 11/23/16; last updated 6/8/19

January 10, 2019October 5, 2023

5 best writing workshops and classes in Los Angeles

Some writers are self-taught. I’m really, really not one of these. I’ve taken a lot of — perhaps too many — writing workshops. I majored in English writing as an undergrad, then got a PhD in creative writing — and apparently all that still wasn’t enough, because I’ve also taken a bunch of one-off writing classes all over town!

Single creative writing classes can be great for a lot of reasons: if you have no idea what you’re doing and need some direction from a mentor, if you’re not ready to commit an MFA program but need something structured to move your writing along, if you’re working on a specific writing project and want feedback on it from a group of writers, if you have a tough time motivating yourself to write without deadlines.

There are countless writing workshops offered on the internet, but I’ve stuck to on-ground classes for this post, assuming that if you’re reading a post specific to Los Angeles, you’re interested in meeting up with fellow Angelenos IRL. Here are five options to consider:
____

UCLA Extension Writers’ Program.

You’ll really feel like you’re back in school if you sign up for a UCLA Extension class, which are held on the Westwood campus in actual classrooms, complete with chalkboards. Fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry, and screenwriting classes are offered — as well as weekend intensives and shorter workshops. Many classes are open to all; some of the intermediate or advanced classes require you to submit sample writing to be considered for admission.

Some of the classes I’ve taken here have been great, some kind of a waste of time. I recommend reading your potential instructor’s books before plunking down the money for the course — though even then, it’ll be a bit of a crapshoot. Then again, isn’t that true of anything in life?

Each class is limited to about 15 students; past and present instructors include Ben Loory (Stories for Nighttime and Some for the Day) and Antonia Crane (Spent). A 10-week Introduction to Novel Writing class costs $699. UCLA Extension also offers certificate programs — the value of which I have a hard time understanding (why not just do an MFA then?) but which may appeal to you.

Writing Workshops Los Angeles.

Taking a WWLA class feels a bit like going over to a friend’s house — because these workshops are taught out of the instructor’s homes. Enjoy snacks and coffee or wine at these eight-week courses on fiction, nonfiction, poetry. You can also sign up for one to two-day seminars.

I’ve taken one fiction class with WWLA. It was more basic than what I was looking for at the time, but I enjoyed my time there and liked the people I met — a warm, supportive environment, especially for beginning writers.

Past and present instructors include Bernard Cooper and Margaret Wappler (Neon Green). One thing to note is that a significant number of WWLA instructors haven’t published a book — something to consider if you’re hoping for mentorship and guidance on the book publishing process. An 8-week Novel 1 class costs between $380 to $420.

Writing Pad.

This writing school offers one-day to 10-week classes ranging from more traditional short story and novel workshops to screenwriting and blogging bootcamps.

Writing Pad hosts occasional panels and events too. In fact, I found out about the school when a friend invited me to one of these; a handful of storytellers told hilarious tales about real-life experiences they’d gone through. I’ve never taken a class, but have heard good things — Many classes are capped at around 10 students, and take place in one of two locations: Writing Pad East in the Arts District, or Writing Pad West in Rancho Park. Past and present fiction instructors include Lauren Strasnick and Steph Cha (Dead Soon Enough). A five-week Novel 1 class costs $425.

Santa Monica College creative writing class.

As a California resident you can take legendary creative writing teacher Jim Krusoe’s 16-week workshop at Santa Monica College for less than $200.

Jim’s the author of The Sleep Garden, Girl Factory, and Toward You, among other books, and his SMC classes — voted Best Writing Class by LA Weekly in 2012 — are open to all, at least until they fill up. Check the latest class schedule to find out when he’s teaching next. Detailed instructions for signing up are on this post.

Beyond Baroque Workshops.

Looking for something less structured? Local literary nonprofit Beyond Baroque offers free weekly community writing workshops in fiction, poetry, and screenwriting at its historic Venice location. Drop by any week at the appointed time to get your work workshopped with fellow community writers led by a local writer-instructor.

Of course, since it’s a free, come-if-you-want type deal, you won’t get the same type of continuity you would with more formal, weeks-long classes. Each workshop will be a new adventure! And some of the instructors Beyond Baroque pulls in are pretty amazing; I went to a few of these a long, long time ago — and got to study with poet Will Alexander.

Donations are suggested. Beyond Baroque offers what it calls Professional Workshops too. For these, offerings vary widely in structure, as does the cost. (Earlier: 5 ways to give back to literary nonprofits in Los Angeles)
____

There are many, many other small organizations and individuals in Los Angeles who offer all types of writing workshops — as well as writing coaching and editing services. If you’re interested in working with a specific local writer, try looking them up online; many teach, coach and edit.

And of course, you can always join a Meetup writing group or organize your own writing workshop. Don’t know enough writers to pull together your own group? Make some friends at these Los Angeles writing meetups where you can write in company.

Originally published 1/12/17; last updated 1/10/19

January 8, 2019October 5, 2023

‘The Idiot’ makes me want to do college over again

Of all the many bad decisions I’ve made in my life, one of the most baffling was my decision, at seventeen, to go to college in Indiana.

What was going through my mind then? What was I thinking — or was I not thinking at all? I did have a full ride — that played a role in the decision, sure — but it was a real culture shock, going from sunny, cosmopolitan Los Angeles to a tiny university in a tiny college town, where students walked around wearing shapeless khakis and fleeces and corduroy pants, by choice. There was absolutely nothing to do there except get drunk at frat parties, which is basically what I did — for three years! Such parties are not as fun as they make them out to be in the movies. I escaped a year early by doing an extended internship at a public relations company in New York to earn the last credits I needed for my degree. I never went back, not even for the graduation ceremony.

Even now, when I talk to my college friend Anne, we often find ourselves asking each other, incredulous: “But WHY did we go THERE?”

Which is to say, reading Elif Batuman’s The Idiot (Penguin, 2017), I found myself growing wistful for the college experience I never had. The Idiot follows a young woman called Selin through her first year at Harvard, where she signs up for a random assortment of classes and develops a gigantic crush on a senior called Ivan, who already has a girlfriend and never really makes a move on Selin. This isn’t a sexual coming of age novel. In fact, there’s no sex at all! No big parties either, or much drinking. Mostly, Selin reads and writes and hangs out with her friends. And she obsesses about Ivan, musing about things, like this:

“I kept thinking about the uneven quality of time — the way it was almost always so empty, and then with no warning came a few days that felt so dense and alive and real that it seemed indisputable that that was what life was, that its real nature had finally been revealed. But then time passed and unthinkably grew dead again, and it turned out that that fullness had been an aberration and might never come back.”

And yet in all that so-called emptiness, so much happens, if mostly in the life of the mind. Selin’s strange relationship with Ivan begins when they’re paired together in Russian class to practice the language by pretending to be characters in a story they’d just read. Later, on a whim, Selin sends an email to Ivan, in the voice of her Russian character, and a correspondence begins. Soon, they start emailing each other philosophical musings on language and stars and time.

The “relationship,” if you can really call it that, doesn’t actually go anywhere, though the two do end up spending quite a lot of time together, going for drinks and swims and walks. There’s really nowhere for the relationship to go. Ivan even says explicitly he shouldn’t be stringing her along — He has a girlfriend, after all.

What I love about this novel is the question it brings up about agency. Are we decisive actors in our lives, making things happen? Or do things just happen to us? There’s an aspect to Selin that seems incredibly passive. She lets herself get dragged into things — a friend’s tae kwon do class, little excursions, conversations she’s not particularly interested in having. In fact, Selin doesn’t decide to teach in Hungary so much as just end up in that teaching program. Ivan tells her about it, so she finds herself at the orientation meeting, and then the next thing she knows she’s in the Hungarian countryside, teaching Beatles songs to a motley group of students.

Yet what is determination, really, if not the decision to follow your crush halfway around the world? Isn’t that basically the definition of following your desire? She did send the first enigmatic email, after all —

What The Idiot does really well is capture the porousness of youth, that time when anything and everything feels like it could be significant, momentous, whether it’s listening to records or waiting for a phone call or reading Dracula, that time when the potent cocktail of emotions you feel hit you so urgently you think might crawl out of your skin if something doesn’t happen, right this second!

Though really, does that time ever truly end?

“I hadn’t learned anything at all,” reads the last line of The Idiot, though the message of the book, if I can call it that, is the opposite. The epigraph is a quote from Proust, who praises the “ridiculous age” of adolescence when we do silly, regrettable things as “the only period in which we learn anything.”

And throughout, Selin does learn — about life, and longing, and love. When her friend Svetlana develops a crush on a not-particularly-impressive guy, Selin muses, “wasn’t that itself the miracle — that love really was an obscure and unfathomable connection between individuals, and not an economic contest where everyone was matched up according to how quantifiably lovable they were?”

That’s one lesson that took me a long time to learn; I learned it well after college. Surely I learned other things in Indiana — though I do still wonder sometimes if I really had to go through three years of life in the Midwest to learn that I never want to do anything like that again.

Maybe to some degree, those years helped me learn that a life of reading and writing and having conversations with people who cross my path might, in itself, be enough, that that, in itself, might be life. No need to actively try and make anything happen, no need to worry about what to do or who I might become, no need seek out the momentous parties or dramatic affairs or life-changing experiences, as whatever experiences I have, they’ll inevitably be life-changing anyway.

Maybe all I need to do is openly throw myself into whatever comes my way. The Idiot makes me want to do that, even as I fear that was the kind of thinking that took me to Indiana in the first place —